I broke up with my last boyfriend about 2 days before New Year's and I have spent the last 2 months contemplating my life and situation. The reason that I broke up with my ex was that I fell hard and fast for him but couldn't sustain those feelings. He also lived very far away which made it difficult to keep things going. A long distance relationship can be wonderful if both people are willing to work at it. Unfortunately, LDRs are a lot of work and I was not up to the challenge of maintaining my relationship. There was nothing wrong with the guy, other than his location, he was fabulous (and still is I assume) but I wasn't ready and/or able to handle it.

So, here I am 2 months later and I am still single with no options on the horizon. I have placed a personal ad and have gotten some good responses, however I am not going to be jumping head first into the dating pool just yet. I have watched my friends, and myself do that before with sometimes disastrous results. Now, I ask you, why do we feel like we have to be in a relationship to be complete, happy, fulfilled? I know, I was one of those people. I had my ideal man all planned out and wasn't happy if I didn't have a current candidate at my side.  I know many people (both guys and girls) who have the same mindset. Over the last couple of months I have come to find that we maybe doing ourselves and each other a disservice by thinking that way. Think about it, you have all the qualities of your ideal man laid out but you meet someone who is wonderful but they don't fit all your requirements. What do you do? Do you, like some women I know, throw the opportunity to meet someone fabulous who might turn out to be perfect for you afterall. Or do you go for it inspite of what your head is telling you that you should be expecting from him? I have always been one of those women who would throw the chance away to wait for someone who fit my image of what I wanted in a man. Ever since I broke up with my last boyfriend I have thrown out my image of the ideal man. I had to, I had found a man who had every quality that i was looking for but he didn't make me happy. Now, I have to find what does make me happy.

I have surrounded myself with incredible friends. I was at a party last night and the drunk talk turned to how lucky we all were to have each other. I have friends who are all sweet, kind, loyal, intelligent, wonderful people. We support each other and I know if I ever needed anything I would only have to call. While the drunks were discussing this at great length I had a profound thought... I have been very happy and satisfied with my life for the last 2 months. The reason why is the people that were in that house last night. For the first time I have been satisfied being single. Yes, I get lonely sometimes. Yes, it can be hard to sleep alone. But, I have the blissful freedom and peace in my life that I have always been searching for. There are many people in relationships who don't have that. They feel insecure, jealous, overly needy, and possessive. I have been there, I know what it's like. Now, I wonder why I can't find a relationship where I can feel this secure, this free, and this peaceful. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I don't know. All I do know, is that I have started down a new path toward happiness and with any luck I will find a wonderful man who will keep me on this path.